I do have dreams of him just suddenly leaving me. I do have dreams of me walking in on him having sex with other girls. I have lots of scary dreams. I can give birth to babies and they die in my arms, I can have Zack die in my arms, there's an accident and something happens to me or Zack and we can't see each other...the list goes on and on. Sometimes I talk about them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I get "violent" or something and have to be woken up, and sometimes I don't. They happen...and the sad thing is that I'm simply getting used to them. The reason I haven't made big deals of them in the past is because I don't want to address them. Thinking about Zack on top of another girl, or my babies dying isn't something that I like to dwell on...so I just try to let them go. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe I'll become to traumatized later that something will happen. Who knows...point is, I'm just not a person who wants to talk about some of my biggest fears, when, in a way, I see them happen.
I was going to say more, but dinner's ready, and if I don't get out there Mom may realize that I am in fact not doing homework, but updating on D-Land. So that's all...I guess.
...Oh! And it is highly reccommended to have peanut butter licked off of your body. Doesn't really matter where...it's just fun...
