So the fact that my brother has finally left and gone to the army isn't the upsetting part. I was supposed to wake him up at 6:30, this being my chance to say good-bye and tell him honestly that I'd miss him. He wasn't there. He had left early. It's kinda heartbreaking that your own (step) brother doesn't say good-bye in person, leave a note, write an email...anything at all...to let you know that he just might actually care about you, or heaven forbid, miss you. I'll admit that I'm not shocked, I saw this coming from a mile away, nonetheless...it can still hurt. His friend called here around 5, wondering if he'd already left for the army because he wanted to say good-bye, I guess Ryan forgot to mention the fact that it was 5 A.M. when he'd be picked up. At least I'm not the only one he didn't say good-bye to.
I always end up comparing Ryan to JP and Gian Carlo, the other step brothers. I hate to do they becaues they are all extremely different kinds of people, but sometimes I wish Ryan was more like the other two. Through the short two days that I would spend with them every other weekend, and sometimes longer spaces of time apart, I became closer to them...they let me in on their lives. Ryan's never attempted that or hinted to me that he wants me to be apart of his life. And I know that I'm not the greatest sister, but I don't feel like I should put out oogles of energy to make Ryan feel like he's apart of this family. He could've eaten dinner with us, stayed at home more than once every three weeks, or even just stayed inside. I know that he got some "family time" on the Disney Cruise, none of which I was apart of because I was off with the Common Grounds teen people, but even so...he shouldn't be forced to spend time with the family just because he's trapped on all sides by water.
Enough babbling...I have Monsters Inc. to keep my mind off of it.
