so he was just getting sicker and sicker, right...i understand that. but they could've put it off longer right? they're so close to june, all he wanted to do was go to minnesota one last time but they said no. so they amputated half of his other leg. his only other leg. he's criple, i see that now, and there's nothing i can do about it and that really really pises me off. he goes to rehab this weekend but it doesn't matter. i can't handle this shit anymore, i don't know what to do. my poor family, nothing's getting easier! i'm going to my dad's tomorrow around 5:30 or so, then on saturday him, steven and i are driving to fredericksburg to see my grandparents. i hate going there now, something bad is always going on. i've been trying to do everything to keep my mind off of it but nothing's working, i'm gonna be so upset tomorrow. i feel my faith running short again, god's not being here when i need him the most. or, right when things are getting better they shoot down and suck majorly again.
ok, let's try a happy thought
at least tomorrow's friday, and the sucky thing is tomorrow is the last day to develop any film in photography, and i keep forgetting to give my mom the film for the slideshow, but it'll be all good. i'll be okay.
no i won't who am i kidding. my grades are for shit, a lot of my friends are pissing me off lately, my grandfather can't walk, my dad's broke as hell, dammit. everything was going good for a while. either that or i was just ignoring the bad things that were going on in my life, i'd believe that more. i don't know what to do about all of this.
i'm going to bed.
