He's actually made me feel guilty for wanting to see him! Holy crap! What the Hell is going on here?
I saw him for about 30 minutes today, and it wasn't even him I saw, it was everyone fucking else in his family. Annah Beth stood about two feet in front of us no matter where we went, Chance was constantly right there rough housing with Zack...and whenever I made any sort of comment about it I got "hushed" like I was being mean. Fuck that, I'm not going to his house anymore. Invitation...no, sorry, fuck that.
Then today, a shitty ass fucking Easter, I sit there at my Mom's friend's house while they talk Non-stop about Mom's cancer and her surgery and all this stuff I've been crying myself to sleep over for the past week. So, naturally, I'm hoping to get a hug and a kiss from my "boyfriend" who "would, of course, want to see me too after a long day" before I go home.
Well, needless to say, that didn't happen.
And now it's been brought to my attention that whenever things go my way I flip out and Zack apparently doesn't know how to keep up with me. So, from now on, I'm not going to fucking talk. I'll be the mute fucking girlfriend he wants, sitting and being obedient, talking when I'm spoken to, "Do you need a drink, dear?", "Can I get you something to eat?", "Do you need me to wipe your fucking ass while I'm at it?"
This is bullshit.
I can't remember the last time I've felt like this...
