I hate when my friends talk about what happened when they were doing drugs, or that they did them in general. I hate hearing my friends talking about being high, or how funny it was. I have my own personal reasons why i won't get high. Don't try to pressure me, don't try to get me to change my mind. It ruined a happy relationship b/w my parents in my eyes...I won't give it any satifaction. It ruined my life and I've never even tried it. Stop telling me you're going to get me high, or that you want me to...I won't. Sorry, but get over it.
I talked to Karl for about an hour today in the auditorium up in the corner, no one needed our help and I saw that he was up there so I went to say hi. He looked kinda upset so I said that if he wanted to be alone that I'd leave, but he said he didn't mind so I stayed. We ended up having Thomas (Chris) and Rami and Kristen come up and talk to us but most of the time it was just me and him. It was great, we talked about all sorts of shit, he's a funny guy, glad we got to know each other more.
I'm finding out I'm not alone with being so self-concious and insecure. I don't think I give myself enough credit some of the time. I still stand on the compliment thing though...ok...I can't take compliments. I'm sorry but if I don't see something good in myself, and that's all you talk about I'm going to clam up and feel weird about it, that's just the way it is. I'm slowly learning to look at myself differently. I've gotten over the fact that my boobs are small and are going to stay this way forever. I'm learning to accept my height, though I hate it with a passion. I'm learning to work out...so I have no more pudge on my stomach. I'm...I'm just learning to ignore then I guess. One of my friends like me...and he obviously doesn't care about all of that stuff. Why should I? I'm not one of those people who dwells on it and obsesses over the things about me that I can't change...I don't do that anymore. But if you bring it up I'm bound to talk about it. That's just me though.
I'm going to go to bed soon...I've had a busy day. Toodles!
