I woke up at 12, that felt pretty good. No one's home, & I love that feeling so much right now. When I move to California I'm going to have to get an apartment by myself just because if I don't I'm going to eventually kill my roommate for being annoying. I don't know how I'm going to live with a girl either, I've never shared a bathroom, well, when I was at the age where I had to have the bathroom in the first place. I'm going to have to have a guy roommate who cares nothing about what he looks like, because since I was 8 I've had my own bathroom, I've grown accustomed to making a big mess and not caring because if I shut the door, the problem goes away.
I think that's where a lot of my problems lie. Stupid shit happens and I get upset but instead of facing the problem I just ignore it, by "shutting the door" if you will. I don't know why I push everything & everyone away, I don't know why I always want to be alone and not around other people, in all reality when I die I don't want to be alone, so why do I always want to be alone now? I'm so weird. That's my conclusion. I don't know why I'm talking about this, it's pointless I know because hardly anyone reads my diary anymore (I read the stats like the dork I am) so why do I bother?
Two more weeks until camp. I had a dream about it last night, all of my friends from last year (Nathan, Randy and Jesse...I only hung out with guys) were there. That was great. They hadn't changed either, they were the same guys they were last year. I've changed a lot since last summer, I don't know how I'm going to react to camp this summer. I'm used to walking into camp & knowing the councelors & not worrying about meeting new people because I'm not shy at all, eventually I'll get to know them, but this year I have none of that. No councelors I'm used to, and I have no idea who's going week 8. It's a werid feeling, but this will be the last time i go to RVR to camp, so I might as well take advantage of it. Right?
After this pointless ramble I'm going to go. Some weird movie is on with Corey Feldman & Corey Haim, and if you know me then you know I'm excited (at least Meredith should know how excited I am right now.) Toodles.
P.S. I love being stood up by my best friend. (2:03 pm)
