My brother will be leaving tomorrow for three months to be in Brazil. I got to talk to him for a minute today, wish him that Happy Birthday I only got to leave in a message for him last Monday, got to hear him laugh and know he was smiling through the phone. It felt good. Dad wasn't home, he was at work (sadness go up).
Then that little argument with Zack came about, finally I was able to express how I actually felt. I've realized, through another boring day of work when I have my best revelations, that all I need is some time to get pissed off, then to realize that I just need to let things go before I'm ok. I was so mad this morning, I kept taking it out on Caitlin too, poor kid...and when he called at work and the first thing he said was "I love you"...I was fine. I was happy, and laughing...and felt great just hearing his voice.
I've also realized that I'm a lot like my Dad. Aggressive driver, short tempered...it's the Heim blood in us, I guess. Steven will be the same way too, poor kid.
I just saw Chicago at the National Theatre in DC...and it was incredible. I don't know, the movie was pretty amazing...but the play was all the same. Those people work their asses off. I proposed the possiblity to Mom about her and I going to New York for a few days and going to see Beauty and the Beast, the one play I'm dying to see, and all she did was smile that smile that says, I'm-too-afraid-to-commit-to-anything-but-I-really-want-to-go sort of smile. So I hope so.
I just got to talk to my Dad. From June 29-July 1 it's just me and him. Oh. My. God, I'm so fucking happy I could scream. You have no idea. We'll spend Sunday night just the two of us, doing nothing, especially because he can't pick me up until 10 p.m., then Monday the 30th we'll do nothin', then on the 1st of July we're going to Kings Dominion for the day. Yeahoo, so excited. Three days with just me and my Dad. Gah! I feel like I'm 7 years old again. Marie will be in Brazil by then, there'll be no Steven...no Grandparents who I feel like I have to compete with for five minutes of my Dad's attention. Squee! You should see me right now, full of smiles.
The only thing that sucks about it is that it'll be three days away from Zack. Grr.
I'm uber-tired. G-Night.
