Maybe I just don't know what to say to make him smile anymore. Wouldn't that suck? I try to make him feel good and profess my love to him, and all he says is how he wishes he could make me happy like my Dad does. Which, is pointless. They are two very different kind of happinesses.
Zack makes me happy for many reasons. The kisses, the hugs, the 'I Love You's', the converstaions on when we'll grow up, the random presents, the Best Friend quality...and his basic love. I'm comfortable with him. Does anyone understand why that's so important to me? Do you realize how great it is being so comfortable with him? I share a lot with him, and I love that.
But with my Dad's it's differently. I think he's been about six months since I've seen my Dad. I'm happy because I'll be able to see him for a few days at the end of the month without having to deal with Steven or Marie, or feel like I'm competing with someone for his attention.
Does anyone get that?
I'm not mad. I'm not frustrated. I just need the reassurance that someone gets what I'm saying.
Today was a good day, until I realize how horrible Zack was feeling. I hate being happy when he's not, it's a weird thing for me. He's working, and I can't to him, and I don't think Mom'll be home in time for me to go and pick him up (dammit) so that sucks. Gah, I need someone to talk to.
I'm gonna go dance around to the Chicago soundtrack some more.
