I feel worse off now that he's gone than I did when he was here. It's so complicated...I keep ESPing him to call me, because I'm crying and I'm a mess...but the signal must be blocked or something, because I think that if he had any intention of calling before he fell asleep he would've done it by now. I hate when I fuck things up like this. It's so stupid.
So, yeah, they say that when you go on birth control there's the possibility of "spotting." I didn't have it the fisrt 6 months I was on it, but I'm having the problem now. It's scaring Zack, and while I understand that it does, he's taking it way out of proportion and making it this huge issue. He has no reason to, I think it's just a new thing for him (like it is for me) and he's just scared. It's just hard, always comforting someone else when you think they should be the one comforting you.
I got Linda to work the last two hours of my Sunday shift next week, so I'll be able to go to Lauren's party at the Hard Rock Cafe, which should be fun.
I can't even change the subject without not thinking about it. *sigh* This fucking sucks. I'm in a horrible mood and want to talk to Zack but he's probably thinking that I'm perfectly fine waiting until morning before I talk to him next. I like it when he calls me after I've dropped him off, just to make sure that he got home okay. I like it when he calls just to say goodnight or that he loves me one last time...and he knows that we left on shaky terms, why isn't he fucking calling?
I'm going to lay down and watch Comedy Central or HBO, see if anything good is on. Try to subside the tears before I fall asleep.
I am so not okay right now.
