It's hard opening up to him, because half the time...it's the first time I'm admitting certain things to myself. I letting into a part of myself that I've been afraid to confront, or admit...and knowing that none of it will be used against me is the best part about it. I don't expect him to understand all of it, I don't expect any certain reaction...just knowing that he's happy that I'm letting him into my "world" is worth it.
There's no doubt in my mind that I see myself spending the rest of my life with him. I know that I'm 16, I realize this. But I'm at a point in my relationship where I know that this is going to be the greatest love I ever experience in my life. Don't tell me that I'm too young to know what true love is, you're naive and don't know me. Don't tell me how I feel. Can I see myself marrying him? Yes. I want to.
Just saying that is a big deal.
No one, no one will ever understand how hard that is for me to say. You may have heard me talk about the divorce, you may have known how it's effected my life, but until you live life in my shoes...you're oblivious to what I, personally, have gone through. Sometimes that's a good thing, other times I wish I had someone to talk to who has gone through the same things I have. It's hard for me to explain to Zack why love is so scary, why it's hard for me to trust love and my heart in his hands because we have extremely different backgrounds. But, I like that. It gives us both perspective on how different the world is, and how different our lives are...but inevitably we still love each other.
More than anything else he's my best friend. He's the only best friend I have right now...and I wouldn't change that for the world.
