Now I feel bad for staying home, and part of me wanted to get off of the phone with him last night to run and take a shower (instead of waiting until now)...but our conversation was quite kick ass (no...I wasn't crying) and I didn't want to end it. Part of me likes how Zack's diary is locked, because it's like he's talking to me. I'm the one that he writes it to, and I know that he's not bullshitting anything for other people. It's like everything is a big secret (until I talk about it in here) and no one else can know about it. There are other times when I want other people to see what he writes, to show them how much he loves me and wants to take care of me and marry me and all of the other things you probably think we're kidding about or not serious about. Well, we're serious, so get used to it.
It's not bullshit when I say that I'm afraid all of this is too good to be true, Zack. Don't you realize how happy I am? Don't you realize how in love I am? You do...right? Well, don't you also realize that things don't go so well for so long without there being serious reprocussions? I'm not saying that I want this to end (fuck no!) I'm not saying that it is going to end...I'm saying that there's always the possibility that some great big-giant outside force is going to creep up on us and prove that this is (dun dun dunn) too good to be true.
But I do love you, don't think that any of this means I don't.
(Yay, Zack just called me from school to say high. That makes me smile...)
So we've planned out the rest of our lives. I know where I want to live (or, namely where I don't want to live.) We know how many kids, we basically know their names, I know what type of wedding he wants...we've basically got it all figured out. Trust me, I know what I want, too. I'm a girl, I've been planning out the rest of my life since I was five, so having a guy that'll do the same is quiet kick ass. Gah, so in love.
I'm procrastinating, I've got to leave the house in twenty minutes and I've still got to dry my hair and put on some clothes (yeah...I know, it sucks.)
Omigoones...season finale of Six Feet Under was incredible. Just had to say that. =D
