So the last time my Mom went into surgery there was the excess bleeding (I think I already went over that) and they had to bring her into the operating room again to get it to stop. That was my fear. I hate surgery enough and the fact that she has to go under anesthesia once creeps me out. So when Mom called and said in that 'I'm-trying-not-to-cry-and-let-you-know-how-scared-I-actually-am voice', I could tell immediately I wouldn't like what she had to tell me. The same problem occured, there was excess bleeding and her left breast was causing problems, so she had to go back into surgery. My heart hit the floor, she assured me everything was going to be ok but there's always that voice in the back of my head, what if? She told me that she would end up having to stay the night at the hospital because the doctors don't want her getting home and then at 2 o'clock in the morning realize that the same damn thing was happening again.
I can't handle this shit anymore. First Grandma, then Mom. Who's next? Obvoiusly...me. Then Caitlin. I don't want to have to put the family through this! I don't want to have to put myself through this, it's unbearable. Every time anyone goes to the Doc's office anymore someone's sick or has bad news to tell us. Stupid doctors and their bad news. Damn them.
So Mom called me after her surgery and sounded surprisingly good, telling me that if I didn't want to go see her tonight that I didn't have to, but I did. So Grandma and Patrick dropped off his car at Jiffy Lube (or whatever) then they came back and picked Caitlin and me up and we went to Sibley (Mom's work and where she had the surgery.) The good thing was that she was on the floor that she works on, so she's under all her friends' care. Yay.
She looked really good, really good. That was extremely comforting. She was also numbed up a lot, so once that wears off she'll be a mess. (She told me to bring her Foundation, Lip Stick and her eye lash curler...damn Mom, you're in the Hospital, take a break.) But she was good, and Caitlin was really good while we were there. Not crying until the ride home, and she was forcing it then too. So tonight Grandma's staying at the house becaus Caitlin needs a ride to school whil Patrick gets Mom home (thank you God) from the hospital.
So all in all, today ended pretty good. I spent the day, yet again, with Zack. Yeay. Watched a buncha movies on USA (go Dirty Dancing!!) So having Zack here when Mom called helped a lot cuz that got me pretty upset. Duh.
But tomorrow is the PSAT's. I hate taking regular tests, why must I take one where I'm at school for like 4 hours doing only that?? But...I'm going to Zack's before rehearsals. Double yay.
Toodles.
