Nothing's getting easier lately, everything's turning into huge messes that I'm just not prepared to deal with. I've got too much on my plate and not enough time or energy to deal with it. Any of it.
School's going all right, and my grades are improving...but I'm not motivated to keep them up. They're going to start slipping if I'm not careful, but I just don't care. I don't care about college or getting into a good school or getting a good job. I seem to be the only one, too, so fucking sue me. This is my life, but apparently no one else wants me to live with way.
Honestly, I want an apartment next year. But I want it all to myself. Just me, with my own bills and responsibilites, with no one else to fill up the space but my random little trinkets and crap. I want to sneak Zack over and make love as much as we can, and I want to be on my own. Independant. I'm only going to have a couple years (if that) before Zack and I move in together, and I'm still not sure if I want some time on my own first or not.
This is all just one big mess.
I can't think straight...this is all coming out wrong...
