What's with Christmas season being surprisingly well all of the sudden? Ryan came over Christmas night and got me the Extended version of LOTR and we hooked up my new DVD player so Nikki and I watched that for a while. Ryan wrote me a note with it saying how he wishes that he sees me more, and always wants me to remember that he is my big bro, and how smart I am and how happy he is that I'm not making the same mistakes he made when he was 16, and how if I ever need anything he'll always be there. And even though he isn't always in VA he still thinks about me a lot. I want that to be true. I want to believe every word on that piece of notebook paper is true, but part of me knows that he's doing that because he feels he has to, because as a big brother he needs to preach. Ryan is a good BSer. I have to give him that, but sometimes he can be so genuine I start second guessing him. I dunno, I still think it's sweet.
I spent the night at my Dad's!! It was great, a few people were over at the house (duh!) and Lois and Elias were there so I ended up sleeping downstairs. Bleh. My phone couldn't get a connection and then Dad's phone died on me so I couldn't talk to Zack much, but that's ok. I got some fun Christmas presents, one was Marie taking all of us (me, her, Dad and Steven) to see The Two Towers today at four. That would be number 3, thank you very much. We had a blast too, Steven only got freaked out once (the Dead Marshes freaked the crap out of me too!) and Marie and I would giggle whenever Legolas or Aragorn looked pretty (so we giggled a lot...) and Dad thought the battle scene was cool. That was great, it was exactly what I needed.
And I just spent some of the night with Zack, yeahoo.
So the family (dad's side) is going to the lake on Saturday to have the whole Christmas she-bang with my Grandparents and Uncle and cousins and all of the fake-ness that circulates my aunt Lisa and her stoner sons Kris and Scott. While I'm upset that I don't get to see my grandfather, I'm reminded that I didn't get a birthday card from my Grandmother. This was my 16th birthday, shouldn't she at least pretend that she cares? It was a big birthday, and all she said when it was my Dad's birthday was how horrible she felt for not sending it in the mail sooner, how she forgot the card at home, and how it would be in the mail the next day. Mind you...this is coming from the woman who gave my brother a box of Fruit-Loops and a Tucan Sam for his 8th birthday. I shit you not. I'll be making money. I suddenly stopped feeling the least bit guilty.
Why do I all of the sudden feel so misunderstood?
As random as that is, sometimes I feel like all of my actions and words are being perceived wrong, and while I don't have any "monumental" occurances that have happened that are worthy enough to bitch about, I just feel like all of the sudden no one gets me. I'm the person standing in the middle of a crowded room screaing and no one looks up, because it's not that no one hears me...you all hear me, you just misinterpret my intentions.
...I need to get shoes for Maggie's Cocktail party tomorrow.
