He's so worried, and so scared, and I have no idea what to say to him to make him not freak out. What Zack doens't realize is one simple thing: I'd rather be with him. No matter what the case. If I could be with friends, family, in fucking New Zealand...if he can't/couldn't go...I simply don't want to. Because he's not there to share the experiences with me, and that's not something I want to happen.
What everyone needs to realize (and accept) is the fact that I am marrying him. I'm 17, yes, I know. I'm young...I know that. But no one else seems to realize that that makes this that much better for me. At 15 I met and fell in love with the man I'm spending the rest of my life with. We're going to build lives together and have a family and grow old and eventually die together. I need security in my life, I like set plans and detailed analysises of what's going to happen. That has a lot to do with why I'm so happy about why I'm marrying Zack, because at 17 my life is planned out...and I'm more than happy about it. I'll be with the man that I love, no matter what...love is the most important thing in the world to me.
And I know that I give him a hard time, rag on him when I really shouldn't, and take out all of my agression on him...but he's not only my boyfriend, he's my best friend, my fiance...and no matter what he's there through thick and thin. He wants to know why I feel so upset, he wants to lay with me and make me feel better when I get sick, he wants me to smile when all I want to do is cry. No one has ever done anything so drastic for me before, and as cliche and corny as it is...having it him is the best part about it.
I know that my life is turning into a cliche and all I ever talk about anymore is love and Zack, but no matter what...it's my happiness. He's my happiness. My reason for smiling, laughing, loving, waking up in the morning and giving a shit about what I do with my life.
He's everything to me.
