Yesterday was amazing...I can't explain it. I got home and was in a weird mood so I called up Emmy and asked her if she wanted to go to Ratcliffe park, despite the 94 degree weather. Thank god she said yes. We talked about a lot, cried some. God I love her, with out her I don't know what I'd do. She's going to be there, through thick and thin, through everything no matter what...and me the same for her. I'll be damned if anything change that. I learned about some stuff that was going on during the fall that really scared me.
Emily I love you and don't want you to get hurt. I'm here for you and you know that, you're my best friend and everything to me. You just hafta promise me that you'll be all right, and if you ever feel like u used to in the fall you'll talk to me about it. All right???? =)
I was thinking a lot today about my Daddy and everything with him in my life. There's a lot to say about my relationship with my dad. I love him so much and he's always going to be the number 1 man in my life..but I think that I'm afraid to open up to guys because of my relationship with him. It's always been a bit strained because of the divorce between him and my Mom, I'll never get over that, no matter what happens in my life. He was an absentee father for a little while, went to jail because of his liscense and car and stuff like that, and that's upset me a lot, but mostly lately. I love my Daddy so much and am such the Daddy's girl but...I dunno it's hard to explain. There's always going to be a problem for me with guys with what's happened between him and my Mom. I remember their fights. Brutal vicious fights...never physical...they would yell, constantly. Say such hurtful things...I could never tell mom that I remember because I do. I see Daddy fighting with Marie (my stepmom) and I hate it. I tense up and I can hardly breathe. No more divorces...please. And I think as a result of my Dad not being there as much as I want him to I can't open up to Patrick (my stepdad) and I know that it hurts him that I talk about spending time at concerts at Nation and going to the warped tour with her and all, but that's different in a way. It's hard opening up to Patrick because of the relationship with my Dad, I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I've just been thinking about that a lot lately.
Anyways...today was good. I've got acting class at 7:30 so I'd better get HW done so I don't hafta do any of it this weekend...that would suck.
Oh!!! One more thing...that girl that's missing...the one that ran away I found out is one of my good friends Kat. So guys PLEASE!!...if you see or hear anything tell me! Please!! Thanx!
