I think I'm the only senior who doesn't want to graduate. I'm not counting down the days until graduation (112) out of excitment for leaving; I'm reminding myself to not take advantage of it and hang on to every passing moment I can. Because, like everyone says after they've graduated and are grown, I know I'm going to miss it. Part of me already does.
The whole college ordeal is just exhausting. I feel like a lost puppy, waiting to hear from Mason so I can figure out what I'm going to do. If I could, I'd take a year off. Relax, work, get some money before jumping off into something I'm not ready to confront yet. I don't want to go to college; I want to stay in High School forever.
I'm just not ready for all of the changes it's going to bring. I absolutely love the way things are going now; spending as much time with Zack that I do...I don't want something to come along and take that away from us. Y'know? I've worked hard, we both have, to get our relationship to where it is; we've been through really hard stuff and little problems along the way, but we've both tried, no matter what, to keep a very big sense of normalcy going on. I'm always afraid that something big may come along and change all of that for us.
I hate change; it really tends to freak me out. I like things to be calm and sedated and normal. You'd never guess that from knowing me, huh?
