Fun night. I owe it all to the young and beautiful Brandie. She had a rough day today so I told her that we should do something, because I knew that she wouldn't wanna be stuck at home on a night when she was feeling poopy like in the first place, so she called me when I was reading The Two Towers, of course, so that was hip. We decided to see Tuck Everlasting, which is, by far, one of the sappiest Disney movies I've ever seen. But I'm not complaining, it was cute. And yes. I cried.
Before the movie we went to Pomadora's and got some pizza, we both talked about..."problems" we're going through. We were glad to have someone to talk to. Which neither of us really feel we have right now. But that's a whole nother story. So her Mom just dropped me off at home, and seemed quite shocked that I knew the words to Martina McBride (that's country music for those of you who aren't privelaged enough to know that.) I always have fun surprsing people.
I saw Francis at the movie theatre, I love that girl.
So ok. I feel I have to do this, because it's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm losing my best friend. I'm losing her, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's been gradual, I know that, and I'll admit that I've seen it coming for a while, but it still sucks. I feel like I can't talk to her anymore. I could sit here and blame it on Adam, or Laura for that matter, but it's bull-shit. I'm not doing anything to stop it. I should, but why should I devote all of my time and energy into something when it doesn't seem like she realizes that I'm upset? I understand that for some reason she wouldn't want me to go back out with Zack, a lot of people have a problem with it...fuck them. I'm happy. Dammit, be happy with me. Emily and I always say that we don't care what happens or what goes on in our lives, we can't critisize each other if we know that whatever's happening makes the other person happy. She admitted it'd be hypocritical if she told me not to date Zack again, because her and Adam are the same way. But it sucks. Because I always remember what she said to me in the car over the summer.
So we're on the way to her house with Jesse driving the Bronco, Laura's in the front seat and Emily and I are in the back. Emily turns to me and says "I'm dating Adam again, I don't really care what you think, I just wanted to let you know." Ouch. Thanks, I guess. I regret not telling Jesse to stop the car and having me walk back home, I was that upset. I couldn't believe she'd said that to me. It literally stung.
And I know that I'm probably going to get shit for this entry. Or someone's going to get hurt. But you know what? For one time in my life, I'm doing something I know I have to do, and only hope for the best. The only thing I'm sorry about is the fact that I have to write this in my Diary to feel like I'm accomplishing something. Because, Em, if you're reading this...it hurt that you didn't say anything "positive" about Zack and me going out again. I love him, and you know it. And you didn't say a word.'
And if you approve of the relationship or not...to quote you, "I don't really care what you think". He makes me happy, and he loves me. If you can't get over the fact that this is the third time we're dating, then we've got a serious problem on our hands. Sorry to do this.
'Night (Random thought...I've had my diary for six months, yesterday. Wow.)
